she's talking to a mate. she's sitting right next to me so, no eavesdropping involved - can't help overhearing if you're a metre away from me, sorry mum. apparently this friend has a kid who's in university and really digs mathematics. (i applaud you random guy/chick, two thumbs up for loving maths. hopefully it loves you back, because it sure as hell doesn't love me back.) so naturally with me still being in high school, they what i want to do in the future. and my mum throws out the ol' "she doesn't know yet" card, which is TRUE but then they proceed to talk about this in a negative light. now i'm not very much a racist person, even though sometimes it's really, really hard not to be in my household. i feel like a white kid living among a bunch of traditional-as-fuck asians, which isn't pleasant.
so basically i'm reaching the end of my high school years and i'm supposed to be getting a clear idea of what the hell i want to do for the rest of my life, and i do have a pretty good idea of the general type of work suits me but i just wish they'd stop asking me if i've decided yet.
no, i have not! and no, i will not decide anytime soon!
i guess it's the product of being raised in a westernized country. actually, most conflicts in my household are because of that, and i know that this isn't a solitary case. there's a worldwide epidemic of first-generation asian teenagers growing up in a western country experiencing bad conflict with their families who immigrated but did not get influenced as easily, and still have very traditional morals and beliefs. yeah.
anyway, my point is, if you rush a young person who is at a confusing point in their lives where they're trying to figure out who they are, into making such a big decision, most likely they're going to make a bad one and regret it a few years later, when they realize where their true passion lies. and then this question comes into play: what really is the point of living? to experience happiness, right? to experience love. to fully enjoy each day. i don't know about anyone else, but i'd so much rather spend my whole life following the roads - following my heart - following what the hell i love, and reach that thing i know for certain i want to do, than make a hasty decision early on without fully knowing myself.
i really do not see what is so bad about not going to university when you graduate high school, or not having a job by a certain age, not getting married by the time you're 30, be childless by the time you're 40, etc. i hate how there is such a rigid rule! what really makes you happy? what makes you smile every day? if this way of life is what does, which of course it will be for many many people, then i have absolutely nothing to reprimand them for. but it's just those people who are on auto-pilot their whole lives, following what society shows us as an example, and never experience true happiness. that's what makes me sad.
so. yeah, that's why i tend to ignore you when you ask me what i want to do in the future, mum. sorry. i don't mean it in a disrespectful way. i just can't be bothered saying all that shit up there, haha.
(by the way.. false eyelashes are the most annoying little suckers to wear! i seriously seriously worship those who can rock them and feel comfortable wearing them! you have my respect! hahaha.)
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